Grieving

Just Tulips

Dedicated to: My Mom Last week in my chaplaincy internship, we were asked to select a photo from a spread on the table, and write a story. Afterward, we each shared with the group and discussed how the story reflects our theology and style of chaplaincy. Here is my photo, here is my story: My Mother often brought tulips home from the market. My favorites were the bright red ones with the

Grief Finds You

Grief finds you Just when you think you’re free when you think you’ve buried it completely or washed it away or cursed it off or sang through it in joyous revelation. Grief finds you when you think it’s been too long or gone for good when you think you’ve adjusted to the hand you’ve been dealt. Grief finds you turns your up upside down piercing deeply into your core. Grief

To Hold Death in One’s Hand

Today, I found a bird on my porch. It must have flown into the window and suffered enough damage to not wake up again. A fitting day with death, I thought, just days before I depart on my journey toward chaplaincy. I am going to spend the next several years becoming more and more comfortable with death, so why not now? “What are you going to do with it?” Also with

My Path to Chaplaincy

All moments in our lives lead us to the present moment. With the support of family, friends, and mindfulness community (sangha), the cumulation of many moments has led me to the path of Chaplaincy. In March I began studying under Joan Halifax and other wonderful teachers at Upaya Zen Center in Santa Fe, New Mexico. Upaya’s Buddhist Chaplaincy Training program is described as: “…a visionary and comprehensive two-year program for a new kind

Why Black Lives Matter

The next time someone says ‘all lives matter,’ show them these 5 paragraphs — By Kevin Roose from http://fusion.net/story/170591/the-next-time-someone-says-all-lives-matter-show-them-these-5-paragraphs/ This week, high-profile police killings of two black men—Alton Sterling of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, and Philando Castile, who was killed in Falcon Heights, Minnesota—have renewed heated debates about police violence, and brought the Black Lives Matter movement back into the spotlight. Every time this happens, cries of “Black Lives Matter” tend

A Wave of Grief

It’s been two and a half years since my mom passed — and approaching the 12-year anniversary of my dad passing. I’ve committed myself to the grief process and healing process, and this blog is a part of that commitment. It’s a lot of work. And I have enjoyed moments, days, and even months of extreme peace because of the care and attention I’ve given my grief. But guess what? Sometimes I have crappy days, too.

The Art of Grieving

photo courtesy of www.tnhtour.org A year and a half after my mom passed, I attended a 7-day meditation retreat at Deer Park Monastery in Escondido, CA with Buddhist teacher Thich Nhat Hanh (or “Thay”, as many affectionately call him, which is Vietnamese for “teacher”.) My first exposure to Thay’s teachings was in an Eastern Philosophy class in college. I always found his writings to be healing and accessible, so when I heard about his retreat, I signed up

Motherless Day

Tonight I am enjoying a quiet night in with my sleeping niece while my sister enjoys a (rare) evening out with a friend. It’s Mother’s Day Eve, our third since our mom passed — and the second since my sister became a mother. With days like these on the horizon, I wonder, “What will it be like? A day of celebration? Or sorrow? Will I cry? Or get angry? Will I feel peace? Will I

A Grief Observed

I recently set off on an impromptu retreat in Mexico with a friend. We both needed some self-care but also went to spend time with her Grandfather, Gerald, who lives in Baja. He had just passed the one-year mark since the loss of his best friend and wife of 26 years. Cassie was the love of his life. The two enjoyed an early retirement of traveling, laughing, playing cards and exploring the ends of

New Year, New Grief

Hello Friends, It’s been a while since I last wrote, I must admit, I haven’t had the energy to write much lately. Amidst the holidays, some traveling and a lot of personal transition in the works, I took a little break from my blog. I hope you were able to take a break from your responsibilities and get some rest and enjoy family and friends as well. I don’t know about

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